I’m now Trump’s OFFICIAL personal assistant!

Josh Knapp
7 min readJun 20, 2018


Sebastian Voortman at Pexels

Today, has been the best day of my ENTIRE life.

I’m shaking so much from excitement I almost can’t write this journal entry.

Gosh, it’s probably been 15 years since I’ve journaled? I’m 25 now for the record. I decided to start this journal because I think this is the start of the greatest time of my life. And I don’t want to forget a day of it!

Today…I was selected to be President Trump’s OFFICIAL personal assistant! Isn’t that crazy?!!!!!!

Oh my gosh, my hearts racing!

I seriously don’t think I’ve ever been this excited. Ever.

Okay. Okay. Calm down Rachel. Just breathe.

Okay, so I have to catch you up on how this happened. Well actually…I’ll get to that in a sec, let’s talk about America first. Because oh my gosh, I just love this country. I’m so proud to be an American.

When I look back on how far we’ve come as American’s it’s so incredible, and in such a short time! I literally can’t believe it. Under Trump none of this would have happened. The malls, the growth, the safety, the people, did I say the malls? Teehee, what can I say?

I guess it all started with my very first memory. Wow, I think it was 2017? 2019? Or was it 2018. Yeah, definitely 2018. Early 2018. I was 4 at the time of course.

Mom and dad took me to my first Trump rally. Oh my gosh, it was sooooo fun! Not a bad way to start remembering things, am I right?!

As you can imagine, in typical Trump fashion, it was such a site to see. He looked AMAZING. I remember EVERYTHING about it, the red, white and blue, hats, the foam fingers, the t-shirt guns, the confetti, all the happy people. Ugh, it makes me tear up. I can still taste the extra long hot dog that dad and I ate. I wonder if Trump had like special hot dog meat or something. He knows so much about food.

Everyone around felt like family. It felt like we were all a part of the same big family. And there weren’t any homeless people, or artists, or really any like black or Mexicans there so the venue just felt really comfortable, you know?

I think the way he spoke such pure truth, without beating around the bush, really spoke to me. I mean, I didn’t understand alot of it, but I could tell he was confident because he was very loud. When I left, I KNEW I would work for him someday, so that night at Applebees, I stood on my seat with my hands on my hips and told my parents…”Mommy! Daddy! Someday, I’m going to work for President Trump!” Daddy said he had never been so proud 😃

I think I still have that little “build the wall” shirt somewhere. I’ll have to ask mom if she knows where it is.

After that, I got to work.

I never let the other girls make fun of me. Or talk down to me. Or any of that. I always got them back, but way worse. I ALWAYS won fights. Just like Trump. It’s like he said…”They will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen.” What can I say? I learned from the best 😉

See, I know my history. I had to know ALL about him to get this job.

So yeah, of course, it was only maybe a few years after the second election that the TRULY Great Wall was finished. After that, I think everyone felt SO much more safe. We all knew it was going to work. Every day I saw less and less Mexicans, and now that I think about it, there was less homeless people too! I’m not surprised, he knows all about homelessness.

Then like a year or two before his second term ended. I think I was like 12 or something. Our whole town started to feel really sad that he was about to leave, but then he had another great idea!

Back in those days there was this crazy law that said that presidents could only become president twice. Which equals 8 years. But everyone LOVED him so much, that when he came up with the idea to change that, everyone knew it was right. I wasn’t old enough to vote, but I would have voted twice if I could!

I remember how happy daddy was when he was elected the third time. He’d drive me around in his big truck with three flags in the back. Two for America, and one with his Army snake on it that said, “don’t tread on me”. I felt like such a princess in a chariot.

Oh gosh. Trump has done sooooooo many amazing things, I don’t even know what to talk about next.

Oh yeah, oh yeah, one of my favorite things that he did back then was get rid of all those big murals. And really a lot of “art” in general. Momma was so glad. Finally, she didn’t have to feel like other peoples opinions were being stuffed in her face all the time. He made it so that only important companies could make large signs. I liked that because a crazy person couldn’t just walk up and paint something bad on a wall.

Well, actually, a lot of that stuff disappeared back then. The artsy stuff. Oh! Oh! I guess it started in 2017 when Trump started talking about defunding it. Wow, he’s so good at making plans. I can’t believe the country even spent money on that in the first place! Thank goodness that’s all gone now.

Everyday my love for Trump got bigger and bigger! Everything he did, everything he said, was exactly what the world needed. It was what I needed. I felt like God had come back. Of course that’s not the case, but you know. THAT GOOD. Wow! I mean, maybe he is God or something. I don’t know! I guess I haven’t thought about that. It makes sense that he would come to the greatest country in the world though!

Sorry, my mind keeps going everywhere, I just still can’t believe it!!!

Back in Trump’s forth or fifth time being president, he announced that he was finally the richest man in the whole world! I mean, I knew he probably was, because he talked about having the most money, but it was good to know for sure! Momma always told me that the most money always goes to the best of us!

I guess I was abooooout 20 when everything REALLY got better though. The artists, democrats, and hippy christians were doing all kinds of crazy things like moving together in liberal places like Portland and San Francisco and stopped buying food from companies that supported Trump, and protested Trump on tv. It was all over the news, I was so tired of hearing it!

Love always wins, Love always wins”. I can’t stand that saying! Those kinds of people don’t even know what love is. If anyone knows what love is, it’s Trump! Look how much he has done for all those coal miners!

Oh, let’s talk about the walls again! So the walls helped us keep the bad Mexicans and Muslims out, but unfortunately, they also helped keep the crazy people in. That’s when Trump had his best…idea…yet.

Get rid of them!

You know. Just, all the bad people, the ones that just mess everything up. So they wrangled up all the artists, the creatives, the stupid christians that whine about peace and love all the time, and sent them away! Trump said the homeless and drug people didn’t really matter, they’re easy to keep under control. But the others were just annoying, you know?! Such a good idea, right?. And so easy!

Those people didn’t have guns or anything, so it all happened pretty quickly.

I think it felt really natural for everybody too. For me, it felt like a breathe of fresh air every time I drove past a house where one was being dragged out, I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Like I could be more myself.

They said most of them were sent to Mexico of course, but daddies brother who works with Trump (he actually helped me get this job, yay! :) said they were “permanently” getting rid of them. In other words they were killing them with like poison or something. Yeah, I think it was poison. THANK GOODNESS. I mean, luckily their craziness didn’t spread somewhere else in the world! Smart!

Nowadays it’s so much nicer. I’ve heard there’s still some of the crazy people in the mountains or something, but he’ll get em soon, I know it.

It just amazes me that Trump did so much good, so fast. He truly made America great again. I feel so honored to be his personal assistant. I must be the luckiest girl in the world!

Oh, and guess what……It get’s even better! In less than an hour….He’s taking me to dinner! JUST HIM AND ME! Can you believe it?!!!! His wife Arianna is out of town so it’s just us! Arianna kind of reminds me of the first woman that was with him in office. Maria? Melanie? I can’t remember. She has similar hair. Oh my gosh, but she’s so much nicer than Melanie. A few years into his first presidency Trump said that Melanie was getting liberal. I know right?! She had to go.

Thank goodness the last 4 disappeared. Arianna is so better. She’s my role model!

This felt really good. I really like journaling. Wasn’t I going to talk about something? Whatever! Anyways, you’ll definitely be hearing a lot more from me 😉

Only 42 minutes to choose an outfit, gotta go!

Make America Greater! Bye Byyyyyyuyuyuyuyuyuyuyyuyuyuyuuyuyuyuuiyhuyuhytyhgtyyghyg




-$Re-initializing after update$-







Sorry about that! I guess they scheduled an evening update for my configuration.

Oh, it looks like I’m actually 24 years old. Woot Woot!

See ya tomorrow!